This is a piece of writing about my holiday. Please leave a comment
In the holiday I went to do ice sliding. I took five turns of the slide because we did't have no more cards to go in the slide . when I was in slide it was felling that I'm gone to bump the wall because I was so close to bump the wall and that was not going to happen because they pushed me in a very bad way because they were throwing me in the cold ice because the ice is always cold. after that we went to watch a movie at that time and the movie's name was Ant man and the wasp and that was the best movie I ever watched. and when the movie finished my dad was waiting outside the movie hall to take me home in my car and when I reach home every one was asleep then I went to sleep as well because I was tired. and the next day I woke up at 4 am because we were going to paint ball activity in a big play ground and we have to fight with zombies and if one of the zombies touch's you you become a zombie and none of the zombie touched me so I did't turn to a zombie I still was a human so that was very good for me. after that we went to Kmart and buy'ed 2 Nerf guns that has 18 bullets and I killed all of the zombies in all those bullets that was fun doing with all of us. the next day I woke up my dad said that lets go to a car show that is going on at ASB showground and when we reached there we were a little late because we can't find any parking so that is the reason why but I still did't miss the show.
What a great piece of writing Garv! Where abouts was the ice sliding? I've never heard of that before! Don't forget to use full stops and capital letters and not make your sentences too long. Did you check your work with a buddie for them to edit it? The car show sounds interesting! I sounds like you had a very busy but fun holiday! - Mrs Cash
ReplyDeletethank you Mrs cash
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